We cannot overestimate how the media, our friends, television shows, and family members impact our thoughts and expectations of childbirth. We see women on television screaming in agony during labor or hooked up to IVs while lying in hospital beds, and we are reminded of pregnancy and childbirth stories shared by our friends, our sisters, or our mothers. And while labor may not be easy (it is called “labor” after all), it need not be feared.

It is unfortunate that mothers-to-be don’t hear beautiful birth stories of women who trust their bodies and let go of fear . . . who found a place of peace during pregnancy and birth. These stories – and these women – do exist.  It is time to turn off the cable shows, put aside Belly Laughs and What to Expect and listen to women who are willing to share their positive birthing experiences. Where to begin?

During my third pregnancy, I found Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.  The first half of this book is dedicated to the sharing of birth stories that embody gentle, natural childbirth.  It is comforting to hear so many women speak positively of their deliveries; it restores hope in the strength of women and trust in our bodies. It completely changed my feelings towards labor, and the result was that I embraced my third pregnancy without fear. I felt empowered and trusted my body to do what it was meant to do: birth babies.  There are movies, such as Orgasmic Birth, which show women having blissful birthing experiences. These are real women birthing without medications! While I feel I came across great books and films a bit late in my birthing years, I am happy to have discovered so many positive messages that I received graciously.

Below are a few books I highly recommend for pregnant women:
•    Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth
•    The Complete Book of Pregnancy & Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger
•    Hypnobirthing by Marie Morgan

Here are three films that may interest those seeking a natural childbirth:
•    Orgasmic Birth
•    The Business of Being Born
•    What Babies Want

DONA has a larger selection of recommended books that are required readings for all birthing doulas.  And for women who want to increase the likelihood of having a peaceful, positive birthing experience, I recommend you consider your “birthing team” very seriously. Are you at ease with your ob/gyn or midwife? Do you feel they listen to you and respect your wishes?  Are they available to answer your questions? Have you considered a birth doula? A birth doula is a wonderful person to have on your team as she brings experience, knowledge, and peacefulness to the delivery process. She will stay with you from the beginning of active labor until your child is born — most doctors are there only for the actual birth.

It is also fair to ask people to refrain from sharing upsetting or frightening childbirth stories with you — at least while you’re pregnant. Ask friends and family members to be considerate of how sensitive you are as you prepare for the birth of your own baby. You need not be fed more fear–we all know birth doesn’t always go according to plan–instead, you need to be nurtured, supported, and reassured that you too can have a positive pregnancy and birth experience.

For more information on gentle birthing options, please visit the Rhode Island Birth Network.

Kristen Kardos, MA Ed., and Kathy McGuigan, MSW, the co-founders of RI New Moms Connection, provide affordable, accessible pregnancy and new mom groups throughout Rhode Island. In “Tips for New Moms” they share their knowledge, resources, and helpful ideas for moms just beginning their journey into parenthood or moms who may need a little refresher.

Editor’s Note: Although “Tips for New Moms” is written with the new mom in mind—to support women in their journey through motherhood—it is certainly not the authors’ intention to exclude dads. Every new parent will find their tips, resources, and insights helpful. I invite all moms and dads to share ideas on how they manage their new role as a parent with Kidoinfo in the comments below.

One of my favorite things about social media is the influence it has on my real-life world. I built Kidoinfo using social media tools and it has allowed me to meet, connect with and form a community with amazing parents and businesses.

The first Kidoinfo event, Parents Using Social Media, was standing room only at Bravo Brasserie in downtown Providence. Mary-Kim Arnold expertly moderated a lively discussion with our four fabulous parenting panelists: Katy Killilea, Michelle Riggen-Ransom, Erin Barrette Goodman, and TJ Sondermann. TJ swept in at the last minute to replace Alex Taylor who was sick. Alex was missed but TJ was a stellar stand-in. To those who attended, I loved having the opportunity to meet you in person for the first time or reconnecting with familiar faces. Thank you to the sponsors—your support made the event possible. If you missed the event, I hope to see you at the next one. I am including a list of our panelists’ Top 10 Social Media Resources along with links to a few articles recommended by Mary-Kim Arnold. Over 40 people filled out a survey praising the panelists for their fine presentation and asking for more events in the future. Just some of the suggested topics include: how to monitor/protect kids online, juggling work/life balance, and connecting work-at-home parents. Please share your favorite resources, what you liked about the event, and ideas you may have for future events.

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PANELISTS

KATY KILLILEA

• Read Bio
• Read Meet a Parent Interview

• Top 10 Resources
This is an honest list of what I use most often. It goes without saying that Kidoinfo is my primary source for family stuff.

For cooking inspiration
1. 101cookbooks.com—simple good food
2. coconutandquinoa.wordpress.com—to help me work in obscure ingredients
3. wednesdaychef.typepad.com—fun criticism of newspaper food columns
4. smittenkitchen.com—great for baking especially

For chilly nights
5. ibex.com—to envision being swathed in fine merino wool from head to toe

To stay informed
6. nytimes.com—especially the “dining and wine” and “books” parts
7. hulu.com—more and more often we rely on John Stewart for the day’s news (in the case of hulu, it is yesterday’s news)
8. wbez.com—I listen to Chicago Public Radio in the morning. Because of the time difference, it is one hour behind WRNI and allows me to catch more of Morning Edition before the BBC comes on. No offense, BBC.

For music
9. lala.com (will play whatever you want, for free, and not illegally)
10. kcrw.com—this is what pandora would play if pandora understood me

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MICHELLE RIGGEN-RANSOM

• Read Bio
• Read Meet a Parent Interview

• Top 10 Resources

Social media
1. twitter.com/mriggen
2. facebook.com/mriggen

Parenting (sort of)
3. http://mimismartypants.com/

Work
4. http://mashable.com/
5. http://blog.hubspot.com/
6. http://www.chrisbrogan.com/
7. http://smallbiztrends.com/

Other/Fun
8. http://www.poptech.org/blog
9. http://www.etsy.com/
10. http://perezhilton.com/

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ERIN BARRETTE GOODMAN

• Read Bio
• Read Meet a Parent Interview

• Top 10 Resources

1. Wordpress – This is the blogging platform I’ve been using for almost two years. (Before that I was on Blogger.) I am very pleased with all that it can do, especially now that I am starting to connect with other Wordpress users and learning more about all the various features and plug-ins.
2. Picnik – Free online photo editing. Sort of a Photoshop-light. Lots of fun features! Great for adding special effects or text to your photos and also for making photo collages.
3. Flickr – This is where I upload and store all of the images I use on my blog. I have my account set so that only I can download the full-size version of my image. Visitors to my flickr site only have access to a smaller, lower-resolution version. I highly recommend that all parents who are sharing images of their children and their home online use some kind of photo-editing program to reduce the size of all photos. Otherwise (with most blogging platforms) people can click on the image posted on your blog and get a GIANT version of the photo, which may contain personal details that can present safety concerns (a street sign that shows where you live, your street number on your house or mailbox, your license plate etc.).
4. Feedburner – This allows readers of my blog to receive my posts via e-mail. It also allows me to see how many subscribers I have, when they subscribed, and what their e-mail addresses are.
5. Google Alerts – I use this to filter the news I want so I don’t get bogged down by everything else. I have Google Alerts set for terms like: Family Yoga, Kids’ Yoga, Birth Network, CSA, Farmers Market, etc. This allows me to get a quick look at what’s happening around the world in my specific areas of interest. I also have Google Alerts set for my name, my website URL and my blog name, which lets me know when someone writes about me online or links to my site.
6. Constant Contact – I mainly use Constant Contact to promote my events by sending out e-postcards/invitations. I have also used it successfully to solicit feedback through post-event surveys. I currently do not publish an e-newsletter for myself, but I have designed them for other people/organizations/small businesses.
7. Soule Mama – This is one of my favorite blogs to read. Author Amanda Soule has been blogging for over five years. (I had the pleasure of interviewing her for kidoinfo.com last year!) Even if the content is not your cup of tea, she provides a wonderful model for a beautiful, creative, professional, family-friendly blog.
8. Scott Noelle’s Daily Groove – I’ve been a subscriber to Scott Noelle’s Daily Groove e-mails since our first child was a toddler. I love his format. It is easy for me to gobble up each morning while making my family’s breakfast, but stays with me throughout the day as I digest the power of his pleasure-centered parenting messages.
9. The RI Birth Network – I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to spread the word about this wonderful resource for expectant and new parents in Rhode Island. The Birth Network site has an extensive member directory that allows parents to search for the services and providers they need.
10. Local Harvest – This is a site I frequently link to from my blog. It is a great place to find farmers markets, CSAs, and restaurants that feature local foods. You can also search their events page to find local food and farming-related events in your community or sign up for their “keep me posted” feature and get listings of local events delivered to your in-box.

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ALEX TAYLOR

• Read Bio
• Read Meet a Parent Interview

• Top 10 Resources

1. Flickr is a huge community of people making images with cameras of all sorts.
2. Moo makes beautiful (mostly paper) things out of your photos.
3. Dropbox is an easy freemium tool to share files (text, photos, whatever) between computers and access them online.
4. Make Magazine is full of inspirational projects.
5. Delicious Bookmarks is a great way to organize bookmarks in a way that is easy to search and share with others.
6. Posterous is a really easy (but powerful) way to start a blog.
7. School Closings seems to be the most direct and clean way to find out what schools are doing about the weather.
8. Providence Daily Dose provides a local news alternative to the Projo.

These two I helped out with:
9. Twalala is a Twitter client is a way to filter out tweets you aren’t interested in.
10. Minivite is a simple way to share information about an event with others.

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TJ SONDERMANN

• Read Meet a Parent Interview

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MODERATOR

MARY-KIM ARNOLD

• Read Bio

• Resources

1. Faux Friendships, from The Chronicle of Higher Education: http://chronicle.com/article/Faux-Friendship/49308/
2. The Evolution of Social Technology, from The Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gina-bianchini/the-evolution-of-social-t_b_433815.html?view=screen
3. Social Media and Young Adults, from The Pew Center: http://pewinternet.org/Reports/2010/Social-Media-and-Young-Adults.aspx
4. Cross-Generational Dialogues on the Ethics of Digital Life that you can download from the Macarthur Foundation site. (scroll down – midway – pdf) http://digitallearning.macfound.org/site/c.enJLKQNlFiG/b.2029245/k.C6EC/Library.htm

Social Media. Do you love it? Hate it? Are you obsessed with it? Don’t know anything about it? Or want to learn more?

Kidoinfo wants to hear what you have to say!
6:30 – 8:30pm. Tuesday, February 9, 2010 at Bravo Brasserie  123 Empire Street, Providence, RI
Tickets: $15. Pre-pay by Paypal here. Cash or check at the door only.

TOP 5 Reasons to attend Kidoinfo’s Parents Using Social Media event

1. Have Fun – unplug, get out of the house, meet interesting people in your community.

2. Learn Something – Four smart, parent-panelists, plus a professional moderator, and  of course wonderful participants, who all have something to share.  Learn about websites, tools and tricks.

3. Get MOO Discounts* – the perfect little business or playdate card.

4. Free Food (appetizers) – Great location at Bravo in downtown Providence.  And enjoy the cash bar too.

5. Win Stuff – raffle for cool prizes!

*MOO Discount code:  Get code at event.

Escaping to a warmer climate this winter via airplane? If you are a new parent, the thought of flying with a baby may be daunting. You’ll likely get lots of good advice such as:

• Feed the baby during take-off and landing so that he/she will swallow and the change in pressure won’t hurt the baby’s ears.
• Wear the baby in a carrier onto the plane.
• Push your stroller all the way down the jetway to the plane – the staff will store it on board for you.
• Bring your infant car seat (minus the base) in case there are extra seats (ask at the gate). The infant car seat can be stored by the flight attendants…so it can be used with stroller (or snap-n-go) in airport AND it can be used as a car seat/air seat assuming there is an extra seat available. Children under 2 don’t need their own seats – they fly for free – but at the gate, if a seat is empty, the staff will let you know so you can bring the carrier on board.
• Have several toys that will keep baby entertained and rotate them. After a few minutes, an old toy seems new again!

My favorite “trick” when we were flying with my infant daughter involves the booking of the flight. In order to almost guarantee that we would have a row to ourselves, without paying for a third seat, we purchased the aisle seat and the window seat in the last row of the plane. If there were any empty seats on the plane, the unlucky soul who booked the seat in-between us gladly moved up to a row without a baby and not right next to the bathroom. This worked every time there was an empty seat on the plane and we didn’t mind being in the last row since we spent a lot of time standing up in the back in the flight attendant area swaying back and forth to soothe our baby. When we successfully swayed or bounced our daughter to sleep, we would lay her down on the seat between us and enjoy some quiet time to ourselves . . . hands-free!

Kristen Kardos, MA Ed., and Kathy McGuigan, MSW, the co-founders of RI New Moms Connection, provide affordable, accessible pregnancy and new mom groups throughout Rhode Island. In “Tips for New Moms,” they share their knowledge, resources, and helpful ideas for moms just beginning their journey into parenthood or moms who may need a little refresher.

Editor’s Note: Although “Tips for New Moms” is written with the new mom in mind—to support women in their journey through motherhood—it is certainly not the authors’ intention to exclude dads. Every new parent will find their tips, resources, and insights helpful. I invite all moms and dads to share ideas on how they manage their new role as a parent with Kidoinfo in the comments below.

I launched Kidoinfo over two years ago to connect parents with information; to their kids, to other parents, to their community. As a new parent I wanted to learn about what was available in terms of events, ideas, coping strategies, and resources, and I wanted a way to share this information with others. I have learned a great deal over the years — and think I am a better mother as a result — thanks to advice from friends and parents I barely know. Now my boys are 8 years old and although I am long done with diapers and night feedings, I am still discovering great things available for families in Rhode Island and the connections I make with other parents are essential and meaningful to me.  Although Kidoinfo is a website, a blog, and a weekly email, these are only the tools that help us to engage in real life with our kids and our community.

Continuing on this path, I have decided to initiate a series of networking and educational events called KidoConversations, which will address a range of topics on how online and offline resources can benefit our life and business while helping to foster deeper community connections. I am excited to introduce this new means for connecting with other parents, readers, colleagues, and friends.Panelists Parents Using Social Media
The first in this series, “Parents Using Social Media,” features a panel discussion moderated by Mary-Kim Arnold, the executive director of the Rhode Island Council for the Humanities. The panel includes four local-area parents who use social media in a variety of ways, some socially, others for business, and often for both. This event will provide a unique opportunity to interact with these experts in parenting and business in a question and answer discussion. In addition, the panelists will share their favorite online resources in a special handout, “Parents’ Guide to Social Media.”

Details:
February 9, 2010, from 6:30 – 8:30pm
Bravo Brasserie – 123 Empire Street, Providence, RI
Tickets:$15 (includes appetizers). Cash bar.

Click here for more details.

Pleased to announce Families First Rhode Island, an amazing local grassroots organization, received a grant award of $40,000 from the Rhode Island Foundation. This grant allows Families First to expand its services now into Southern Rhode Island by providing in-home evaluations, treatment referrals, social support, and parenting education to pregnant and postpartum women who are experiencing or at risk for depression.

Sarah Sinclair, Executive Director of Families First Rhode Island says;

“To more effectively meet the needs of families in Southern Rhode Island, we will provide the full range of our services directly to these communities. We will provide 30 mothers with peer mentoring, clinical assessments and referrals, and social and educational gatherings. Volunteer mentor mothers will offer social support and build relationships with participating mothers through weekly home visits.”

Services are provided at no cost to families and are not restricted to first time mothers or to families based on income, insurance status or other characteristics.

An independent study revealed that a sizable portion of the demand for Families First Rhode Island’s services comes from the southern part of the state. According to the RI Department of Health, one in 13 women who give birth in Rhode Island report being diagnosed with depression during pregnancy, therefore a need clearly exists to reach out and offer services to this population.

This project is one of many funded by the Rhode Island Foundation’s strategy grants pool. “We are excited about Families First’s plan to expand its services to more Rhode Islanders. This project directly aligns with our goal for the human services sector to support projects that incorporate best practices and get positive outcomes for at risk and vulnerable children and families,” says Anna Cano-Morales, Associate Vice President for Grant Programs at The Rhode Island Foundation.

Call to Action: If you have one hour a week to volunteer to a new mom, please contact Families First RI to learn how to become a mentor mom. They are always seeking out new volunteer mentor moms.  Your support will not include chores, babysitting, or cooking meals. During your visits, moms can talk to you confidentially about concerns and questions she may have. You can provide her with support and compassion. As a non-judgmental and caring mentor, you will be giving a mother and her new baby a brighter beginning.

To learn more about Families First Rhode Island, visit their website at www.familiesfirstri.org or contact them at (401) 383-9933.

Photo Credit: Joann Johnson, on left, (Volunteer Mentor Mom and Families First Board Member) with her mom.

Alizah Holstein is the owner and founder of Kowalli, a new company based in Providence that makes fleece baby-carrier covers. Kowalli Baby Carrier Covers keep parents and their babies close and warm when on the go and allow them to get out of the house quickly without worrying about bulky layers or unruly blankets. Alizah also happens to be a professional medieval historian.

Kidoinfo: What inspired you to start your business?

Alizah: Last fall, when my baby was about 4 months old, I searched and searched to find a good solution to carrying him in cold weather. I tried blankets (they always fell off); I thought about a big coat (they’re unwieldy, and I didn’t want to spend the money to buy an ugly coat that I didn’t like); I tried a vest designed for carrying babies, but my son hated it. So I made my own fleece cover – it was a simple design and I didn’t think much about it. Until mom after mom (and grandparents too) stopped me on the street to ask where I had gotten it. After a few months of this, I thought, hey! I have no background in business or manufacturing, but I do have a little extra time and the desire to do something creative. And soon after, Kowalli LLC was born. So that’s where my inspiration came from – necessity and public appreciation.

I had never aspired to be in business. Part of this was because I had always found my inspiration in writers and teachers- thus my career as a historian. But in recent years I started to notice that some great things can be achieved through business. For instance, I read about the founding of Patagonia and how that company was a pioneer in offering maternity leave. I have come to realize that some companies, through the vision of their owners and management, contribute in tangible ways to their employees and the communities around them. This is my long-term objective with Kowalli – to grow into a company that can offer progressive policies and a job that enhances, rather than detracts from, quality of life.

Kidoinfo: How did you start your business?

Alizah: I basically asked as many people as many questions as I could. I talked to retailers, business owners, designers, manufacturers, teachers, family members…anyone. I continue to read blogs every day – one that I would highly recommend to any mom (or dad) starting out in business is The Mogul Mom, written by local “mompreneur” Heather Allard. She’s an amazing resource and really willing to share her knowledge and insights. I also went to trade shows to see how things worked. I mulled for months over the right name. And I hired a lawyer. Oh, and an accountant. I never thought I’d say those words! So many people were so kind, candid, and supportive – Line and Pernilla at Kreatelier on Hope Street, for example, were exceedingly generous in sharing their own hard-earned experience – that it was difficult not to start a company!

The only other thing I would say is that in addition to the excitement of it all, starting a business can be a nail-biting experience. It’s expensive, and you can never fully predict what the outcome is going to be. I would recommend to anyone starting out to try to project the first year’s expenses at the outset, before you even take the first step, so you have some idea of what you’re getting into. I say this because it’s something I didn’t do.

Kidoinfo: How do you balance work and family?

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Reviewed by Maura Keating

This review has been brought to you by the (divine?) intervention of the product that I am reviewing. Hallelujah! My hands are completely free!

Last year, I reviewed the Medela Freestyle Hands-Free Breast Pump and I loved it–I still love it. The pump is light, portable, and rechargeable. The breast shields have fewer pieces and are easy to clean. But the hands-free contraption that comes with the pump never quite worked for me. When I am at work, I have to pump at least twice a day, and after a while, I gave up the long process that was required to use the Medela pump hands free. It was easier and less stressful to stare at a wall. All that time staring at walls got me thinking–and wishing there was a product that would enable me to utilize the time I spend pumping. Luckily, there is.

The Easy Expression Hands-Free Bustier is a simple idea that works. The Bustier is a tube of fabric that zips in the front. The Easy Expression Bustier is designed to be form fitting. There are no straps to worry about, no snaps or ties to adjust. There is no need to remove your shirt and the Bustier can be worn over a traditional nursing bra–just undo the flaps of the nursing bra. Two holes in the Bustier stretch to support the breast shields of your pump.

The fabric is a cotton/Lycra blend that feels soft against the skin and has just enough stretch to make minor adjustments easy. I put the Easy Expression Bustier in the washing machine for a test run in a mesh delicates bag and it survived. However, since I can’t imagine pumping without this, I would recommend hand-washing to ensure a long life.

Not only did the Easy Expression Bustier make pumping easier, it also improved my production. With my hands free, I am able to relax. I am no longer juggling two bottles, while trying to operate a breast pump and hating every minute of it. The Easy Expression Bustier also may improve positioning. Once you get set up, the bustier keeps everything where it is supposed to be.

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Calling all parents and kids! Maker Faire Rhode Island is here. Whether you are a do-it-yourselfer or just like to see what cool things other people can create there is plenty to see and do this week at Rhode Island’s first ever Maker Faire taking place now in Providence and Pawtucket.

Beginning at the birthplace of the American Industrial Revolution, Slater Mill in Pawtucket, and culminating in the Creative Capital, Providence, Maker Faire Rhode Island is a celebration of everyday people’s inventive and creative abilities. Maker Faire, already underway is a mass mash-up of technological-scientific-artistic-gadgetry-crafting features hands-on workshops, building and hacking competitions, culinary crafting, garage technology, arts and creativity for sale, robot gymnastic demonstrations, and more.

Kipp Bradford, co-founder, Maker Faire Rhode Island, and Brown University faculty member says,

Maker Faire is a festival celebrating the spirit of personal ingenuity and innovation that thrives here in Providence and Rhode Island, and highlighting the impact it makes in our daily lives. It is also a spectacular showcase for the cool projects local people are working on in their garages and gardens, kitchens and basements, work rooms and community centers.

Maker Faire Rhode Island consists of a series of events held over three weeks in September coordinated with other partner organizations. It began with a kickoff party on September 6th, during the Rocktucket Block Party, part of the Pawtucket Arts Festival. From September 14th through the 17th, there is a hands-on D.I.Y. Workshops in Pawtucket at the Slater Mill, a building and museum steeped in the history of American industry and innovation. The workshops will wrap up with a celebration at Machines With Magnets in Pawtucket. Moving back to Providence, there will be Meet the Makers at JTJ Investment’s Eco Office, at 27 Walcott St on September 18. Finally, Makers will showcase their projects, gadgets, inventions, products, designs, technologies, fancy foods, and much more at the Maker Faire at Waterfire on September 19 starting at 2pm.

The festival is free (with the exception of the Iron Chef fundraiser party at the Steel Yard) and is open to all, participants and spectators alike, including families and children of all ages.

Here’s a highlight of things that are family friendly:

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In September 2008, a group of seven women came together at The Bureau of Jewish Education in Providence for a singular purpose: to participate in an eight-month educational course offering an introduction to Jewish practices and ethics intended specifically for non-Jewish women raising Jewish children. Mothers Circle participant, Darryle Steinberg of Cranston, says of her experience: “I was so relieved and grateful to have found The Mothers Circle. Although my partner and I had made the decision to raise our son Jewish, I felt that there were few resources available to help me learn how to do that. Here was a group of women grappling with many of the same issues and challenges as I was. Suddenly what had initially seemed like an intimidating process became interesting and engaging. We covered so much ground together and although there is still more to learn I feel like I have a very solid foundation upon which to keep building.”

The Mothers Circle Program is an umbrella of free educational programs and resources for non-Jewish women raising Jewish children. This national program created by The Jewish Outreach Institute was made possible locally by the generous support of the Helene and Bertram Bernhardt Foundation, and this was the initial launch of a Mothers Circle chapter in Rhode Island.

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