I regularly read Julia Steiny’s weekly education column in the Providence Sunday Journal. Her perspective on what is happening in our local schools and education at large is always insightful and thoughtful.

In this week’s column, Start now to stem summer’s rising tide of learning loss, Julia Steiny makes the case for extending our children’s learning beyond school and into summer. Schools are not the only place where learning happens and may even turn some kids “off” from learning. I agree that one solution may be to have our children learn about what they love and as a result they may love learning. In her article, she argues;

But it has come to pass that learning is largely associated with schooling, and not happily. Our brains are designed to get pleasure, actual fun, from learning. It feels great to be good at something, or just to be right. The world teems with intriguing problems to solve for any brain with an appetite.

Some kids love baseball, robots or nature. What do your kids love? Talk to them about it, help them find books about it, make art, and ask questions about it. See where it takes them. My boys love movies and this passion has motivated them to find books at the library about how movies are made,  study the history of film, write their own stories and learn how to use a movie camera. They get up in the morning to read about new films in the newspaper. From their passion they have become better readers and writers, learned math and have a better understanding of music. They do not consider this homework or boring.

I agree with Julia Steiny that we need help from the community, parents and educators to find ways to challenge, inspire and motivate our kids to learn on their own. Kids will want to learn when they are passionate about it Julia says;

All kids, certainly not only the privileged ones, need to become independent learners, with such strong appetites for information, skills and mastery that it lasts a lifetime. They badly need the confidence, values and pleasure of knowing how to learn on their own.

Summer is a time for fun but does not mean learning should stop and resume when kids head back to school in the fall. Julia challenges us to create learning opportunities for our children within the community. As parents I think we can do our part and start at home to build a foundation for independent learners by introducing our young children to reading, math, science and art through play, everyday life and experimentation. Give children the opportunity to explore at home and in the community—encouraging them to be inquisitive and ultimately the leaders in their own learning.

Thank you Julia for mentioning Kidoinfo as a great resource for parents. Although it’s true Kidoinfo is not an education site we love learning and invite parents to get off line often to find ways to connect with their kids, other parents and the community. So much to discover!

Last year I created a list of 10 Ways to Vacation at home: Call it a Staycation. This is a list of things kids can do during the summer. With a little a help from parents, children can choose which activities they want to pursue.

By making learning fun and meaningful to children their world becomes a giant playground where anything can happen.

I just wanted to thank all of you who attended last night’s KidoConversation about Raising Kid’s in a Digital World. I love the opportunity for us to meet up and mingle around a topic. Props to the panelists and moderator for sharing their opinions, wit and wisdom. As a parent I find it helpful to hear how things work (or don’t) in other households and schools. Collectively we have much knowledge to share.

The resource guide distributed at last night’s event included the panelists’ and Providence Children’s Museum’s top resources and tips about kids using digital media. The guide will be soon be available online.

The online news site GOLOCALProv covered the event:

It’s every parent’s fear… rapidly evolving digital playgrounds that their kids explore, from online video games to social networking sites, and parents don’t know where the dangers lie.

Kidoinfo.com, a socially savvy Web site for families launched in 2007 by Providence resident Anisa Raoof, brought a panel of five educators, a room full of parents as well as media experts last night to the Speakeasy Space at Local 121 to educate parents on what’s happening in the “digital playground.”

The bottom line?  “Kids haven’t changed,” said Dr. Alice Wilder (second from left), high-profile digital media innovator, “but the toys in their toy boxes have really changed.” (Read full article on GOLOCALProv.com)

How do we shape the next generation to be conscientious online, creative and savvy users of digital media? Join us for a lively panel discussion about Raising Kids in a Digital World moderated by Michelle Girasole of The Sassy Ladies.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010 from 6:30 – 8:30pm
The Speakeasy at Local 121, Providence, Rhode Island
Tickets are $15. Includes appetizers. Cash bar.
Register Now

Meet the panel:
• Kate Macinanti
• Dr. Alice Wilder
• Jen Robbins
• Trevor O’Driscoll

Raffle to support Kidoinfo’s free content. Chance to win 1-year membership to Providence Children’s Museum, handmade book from Rag & Bone Bindery, Kidoinfo totebag filled with CD, t-shirt and toys, $75 gift-certificate towards Juice Box Art and more!

Diaper Drive: We are supporting the Mother’s Day Diaper Drive. Want to join us? Bring in new disposable diapers for families in need. Collected diapers will go to the RI Community Food Bank for distribution.

I do not consider myself a helicopter parent but I admit on occasion I am guilty sometimes of hovering over my children, hoping to protect them from danger or negative consequences. Sometimes we may think we are doing what is best for children at the moment. Part of our child’s healthy development includes them taking on more responsibility as they get older. It is our job as parents to let them fail sometimes or face the consequences of their action (or inaction), no matter how hard that seems. Knowing when to do this and how much to do is not so clear. Don Cowart, principal of Hope Highlands Elementary School, wrote this thought-provoking piece about helicopter parents on his Education For All Blog. Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Helicopter Parents hover around their children and swoop in the moment their children need any help or experience any discomfort. It is easy to become a helicopter parent because you spend the first few years of your child’s life just trying to keep them alive. But, when do parents have to begin to let go? When do they pull back and let their children struggle? I am not sure. As a family we have been struggling with this concept for a few years and my oldest is only 10. It seems that at some point parents go from modeling and teaching good decision-making and problem solving, to just making all the decisions and solving all the problems for their children. All the time! Some, including me, believe that this makes children weak as they get older. Children become ham-stringed with the inability to handle any discomfort and they do not know how to process failure. For example, we have taught my daughter how to prepare for a spelling test for the last few years. We help her study, but this year she has to initiate the process. She has to do the work without reminders. She has experienced success and she has experienced failure. Most of the failure has been a result of poor preparation or disorganization. When she failed her first test we were all upset and disappointed. The point is that she has learned, the hard way, that she needs to be responsible for her own work if she wants to be successful. Don’t think for one minute that my wife and I didn’t feel bad when we saw how upset she was with her poor grade. Don’t think think that we didn’t consider taking over the spelling process again, like when she was in third grade, because the thought definitely ran through our heads. The truth is, spelling is an easy thing to step back from. Other problems are not so easy.

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By Katy Killilea

Families do all kinds of kooky things to save money and/or time. Shopping at a warehouse club, for example: It takes forever to maneuver the giant cart around the place, and then the line to pay is long, and something like a case of pens or forearm-size loaf of goat cheese finds its way into the cart, making the savings in time and money nil. But then there are things that other families do that are pure genius.

Here are the very best convenience tips I’ve learned from other parents this year:

Efficient Household Management:

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• Wash and dry laundry in a catch-as-catch-can style, but fold it only once a week, while you watch a TV show that doesn’t demand undivided attention. (The Biggest Loser is just about perfect.) Put the folded clothes away intermittently, during commercial breaks.
• Have children select the next school day’s outfit the night before. If they don’t care what they wear, select the outfit for them and place it bedside.
• Vacuum under and behind sofas/chairs/rugs when building tipped-over furniture forts. No rush on taking down the forts.
• If you have more than one child, have each of them observe and critique the other’s tooth brushing, so you can step away from the sink and do something else.
• Buy many pairs of each family member’s favorite sock to facilitate  matching.
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• Stick to a fairly rigid after-school routine: Wash hands. Snack. Homework/reading. Parents get to sit down to read during that time too.

Shopping Avoidance Techniques:

• Don’t read sale flyers. You don’t need to know—it will be on sale when you get there whether you’re prepared for it or not.
• CVS and other pharmacies will automatically refill the prescriptions your family uses if you ask them to. An automated system will call  to let you know that your refill is ready for pickup.
• Order groceries online. If you’re nasty, you can arrange to have them delivered while you’re out but your spouse/babysitter will be there to put them away.

Voila! Food:

• If you neglected to defrost the whole chicken you had planned to serve for dinner, you can place it, rock hard, in your slow cooker and it will be luscious and cooked in time for dinner. Read the ridiculously easy instructions here.
• Strange but true: You can pick up Sockeye and Wild Coho salmon fillets in the freezer section at Target.
• While there, you can also get all the ingredients for our friend Mrs. Gower’s Top Secret Chicken: frozen breaded chicken cutlets (we use Morning Star Farms faux chicken), sliced provolone cheese,  a jar of sauce, and pasta. (Put water on to boil and heat oven to 350. Layer the sauce, then the chicken/faux chicken and cheese in a pan, and bake for 30 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Meanwhile, cook pasta in boiling water to serve with the chicken.)
• Stop thinking about what to pack in kids’ lunch boxes and copy other people’s smart ideas. Let them buy pizza and chocolate milk on Fridays.
• Put dinner planning on automatic pilot. Have a burrito night, a soup night, a fish taco night…a night for whatever your family likes to eat. This greatly reduces brain strain for the meal planner. And if you don’t tell anyone (shhh!) that Tuesday is pasta night, they won’t complain when you inevitably stray from the pattern.

A Streamlined Lifestyle:

• Go on a Facebook fast, inspired by Ramadan in function if not in spirit: refrain during daylight hours.
• If you run or go to a gym, sleep in your workout clothes.
• Spend time with the people you love, and block out the merely so-so ones as often as possible.
• If you have long hair, learn to take a shower without getting it wet.

Reviewed by Katy Killilea

I have no daughters, but I’ve gathered that Bratz dolls and spangled Barbies are as inevitable as light sabers and Nerf gu—Nerf dart propelling devices are for boys. I grew up with loads of Barbies in the 1970s, and I remember my mom diligently balancing my Barbie lust with Free to Be You and Me (book and album) and a story book called Girls Can Do Anything. I remember my mom telling me, “You know you won’t look like Barbie when you grow up. You’ll probably look like me.” I was happy–what little girl doesn’t think her mom is the most beautiful woman in the world? Until…the disembodied Barbie head with makeup kit came on the market. That sealed it: I wanted makeup! Skimpy clothes! And to be an ice angel on Donnie and Marie!

For parents looking to balance out their home’s collection of–what precisely is the real offense?–slutty/pornographic/unrealistic body image-inducing/etc. toys, consider Girls Are Not Chicks. This is the coloring book with a Rapunzel who rescues herself, using duct tape and a Tina Turner album, and a Little Miss Muffet who matter-of-factly tells an encroaching spider, “I ain’t moving from this tuffet.” There are girls and boys–or girls with short hair. Or boys with long hair. Probably boys and girls. Without all of the stereotypical gender signifiers, it’s impossible to say–riding a school bus together to a place with lots of drums and co-ed ice hockey.

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I was put on bedrest after a routine visit to my midwife’s office thirty weeks into my pregnancy. Although bedrest is not uncommon when expecting twins,  I still did not think it would happen to me. Pregnancy is already a busy and stressful time—you may be setting up the nursery or juggling work and young kids—and being told you must spend the remainder of your pregnancy horizontal can be a challenge to say the least. For me bedrest meant only getting up to use the bathroom and being driven to my weekly doctor’s appointment until I was told otherwise. This definitely forced me to do things differently, relinquish some control, and rely on the help of friends and family. In the end it was a strong bonding experience for our family. When I found out that someone I know who lives far away was put on bedrest, I was reminded of strategies that helped me cope:

First: Have a family meeting with your spouse, your kids (if you have some), and possibly your extended family to make a plan on how to handle the household chores, driving, doctor’s visits, etc. And while you’re addressing the practicalities of not leaving your bed much, you might want to prepare for the subtler issue of managing mood swings—pregnant women can be moody, and if you add in not being to able to take care of your home and being forced to watch other people take care of things differently than you would, the result can be increased stress.

You need to decide who will cook the meals and help with household chores. Will it be your husband, extended family, paid/bartered help, shifts from friends/neighbors, prepared food from the local market or a combination of these?

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By Jeanine Silversmith

No, I don’t have a DVD player in my car. Yes, there are times when I really wish I did. Like on my way to my parents’ house a few weeks ago. My husband was working, so just the kids and I made the two-hour trek, smack in the middle of the day (gasp!).  We usually save longer drives for bedtime, when the kids fall asleep within minutes, allowing my husband and I to enjoy a few hours of uninterrupted conversation while listening to whatever music we want. It’s sheer bliss; I highly recommend it.

About seven minutes into this midday drive, Devin (my 19-month-old) has thankfully fallen asleep but Sierra (my 4-year-old) says, “I’m all done with the car.” Apparently she’d read all the books and played with all the toys we piled around her. My first thought was, “Why don’t we have a DVD player in this thing?” Then I thought about all of the road trips I took as a child, and we took a lot. No DVDs, no Game Boys, no CD players. Just me and my two siblings shoved in the back of a Datsun, looking out the window, fighting, singing, playing the alphabet game or counting different colored cars, fighting some more…

I’ll admit it wasn’t all fun and laughs. At times, it got a bit hairy in that back seat. Probably because it was boring. But that seemed to lead to some really cool experiences too. I’m reminded of a line from a Poi Dog Pondering song about walking: “You get to know things better when they go by slow.” We noticed things, asked questions, and best of all, we created our own games. We did these things around our yard and neighborhood as well. My mom’s favorite thing to say was, “Go out and play.” Not having too much to play with, we improvised.

Richard Louv speaks of “constructively bored kids” — kids who, when allowed a bit of time to be in the here and now, eventually create a game to play, an art project to work on, or find some interesting leaves to collect. Keep them safe of course, but let them go. Their games may seem silly, even strange, at times, but you’re encouraging them to develop creativity, social skills, and a sense of awareness.

Believe me, I’m not some fantastic, creative, super-patient mother — I’m really not. But when I get out of my kids’ way, when I stop directing and expecting things, they usually impress me. Even the little guy! Recently he played with a ball and miniature lacrosse stick for close to a half hour. He really checks out what’s in our garden (my laundry pile can attest). Sierra regularly uses her jump ropes to create “tree art.” I could go on and on.

As for the two-hour ride without DVDs? Well, it turned out okay. Sierra, bored out of her mind, started looking at clouds and noticed the shape of a dragon, a face, an ice cream cone, and more. We had a few conversations about things that make us happy, scared, excited, and frustrated. I asked her silly questions like, “What would it be like if your nose was on one of your hands?” And when Devin woke up, I tried out a bunch of my music on them. Who knew Sierra would dig Joni Mitchell? And Devin, well the boy just loves Perfect Thyroid. We played air guitars and made up kid-friendly titles for all the songs. It was a sweet road trip that I was actually sorry to see end.

Jeanine Silversmith is a self-described tree-hugging science-and-math geek whose love of nature, coupled with her absolute certainty that people, especially children, are happier, healthier, and wiser when they regularly spend time in nature, led her to establish Rhode Island Families in Nature. She loves to run, garden, bake, hike, and go camping, especially when accompanied by her husband, Ian, her 4-year-old daughter, Sierra, and her 1-year-old son, Devin. They live in Wakefield, RI.

Has anyone noticed there are more than a few kids home sick these days? Although some with suspected or confirmed cases of H1N1, many kids are sick from the usual ailments; common colds, strep, croup, flu, etc. As parents how do we cope? How do we keep our kids healthy and then if and when they do get sick how do we juggle work and family life?

If your child is sick and has a fever of 100 or more they now need to stay home from school or daycare until they are fever-free for 24 hours. This may mean scrambling at work for coverage, negotiating with your spouse, or asking friends and family to step up and help with childcare. But what about if the friends, sitters or family members you usually rely on are also sick? These days the wave of illness affects more of us—kids are more quick to be sent home sick and our kids (or friend’s kids) are staying home longer. This affects how we plan work, play, and just manage the basics like grocery shopping on a daily basis.

Until recently it wasn’t my children who were getting sick, it was their friends and their teacher which meant canceled playdates, rescheduling childcare swaps and carpools. Now that my son is home sick this means more rescheduling on my end; meetings, chores and work are now squeezed into small pockets of free time.

Here’s a list of ways we are trying to keep our family healthy and ways to deal with sickness in our house. Please share your helpful tips!

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By Megan Fischer,
Providence Children’s Museum

Not long ago, I heard a story on the radio about kids spending their time playing Wii soccer. And I thought, what about real soccer? Outdoors, with real balls? And real kids? And then I thought about kids playing Guitar Hero instead of real instruments. And the fact that, according to the Alliance for Childhood, the average elementary-age child in the United States spends four to six hours per day in front of screens, in the form of television, computers, video games and other virtual realities – and less than half an hour outdoors.

Which led me to a moment from the PBS documentary Where Do the Children Play? in which Last Child in the Woods author Richard Louv explains that many children today “see nature as an abstraction” and that they’ve grown accustomed to “life wrapped in plastic” – removed from what’s real. He gives an example of kids seeing meat packaged in cellophane and styrofoam but not understanding that it has a real source, that it originates from somewhere other than supermarket shelves.

There are many concerns about screen-time impacting kids’ physical activity and opportunities for social development. But I also wonder about the implications of the distance from authenticity. What are they losing by not having real, tangible, even messy experiences?

As a kid, I loved climbing my favorite tree – stretching, reaching, pulling myself up, feeling the scratchiness of the bark against my skin and the patchy light filtering through the leaves to warm my face. My sister and I took off on adventures around our neighborhood, digging holes, building forts, picking flowers – things that were important to us because they were real, and because we were connecting with the world around us in the process.

Digging in, getting physical, getting messy – it’s important for all of us, kids and adults alike, to have real, hands-on experiences that connect us to our surroundings, both indoors and outdoors, in a deeper, more meaningful way. Not to mention the developmental benefits to kids of physically navigating their world – building motor skills, coordination, problem solving, and a sense of space and relationships.

Places like museums and nature centers, parks and zoos are valuable spaces for real, authentic experiences. One of our favorite stories at the Children’s Museum is of a 6-year-old girl actively playing in Water Ways, pumping hard to raise the water to spill over the top of a fountain, and then looking up in wonder: “I didn’t know water was heavy!” This type of real-world, hands-on tinkering in childhood fosters curiosity, helps kids make connections, and leads to adults who are more creative and more innovative and better problem-solvers. What a loss for our society if we don’t make space for exploring what’s real.

Let’s all make room for a reality check. This fall, get your kids outside, go for a hike or nature walk and examine leaves, turn over stones, and splash in streams. Take your family apple picking to encourage a deeper connection to one of our food sources – and have your kids join you in the kitchen to discover the fun of making real apple pie. Turn off the TV and video games and take in a live musical performance – let the joy and wonder of real people playing real instruments wash over you. Simple things like this can help all of us develop or rediscover a sense of wonder and appreciation for our world. For real!

This fall, Providence Children’s Museum is hosting community conversations to bring people together to talk about issues affecting children’s opportunities for play. Join conversations about “Making Places for Play” on Thursday, November 5, from 7:00 – 8:30 pm and about “Building Community” on Wednesday, December 2, from  7:00 – 8:30 pm. The conversations are free and open to the public. Click here to learn more. For more information or to RSVP, contact Megan Fischer at fischer@childrenmuseum.org.

Image Credit: Providence Children’s Museum
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