By Jill Davidson

With the school year ending, many parents may be spending more time with their kids. And while their days may be filled with camp, playdates, classes, and more, and our adult days are filled with our adult stuff, we need to continue to cultivate the art of kid conversation.

Some families have kids who are naturally proficient reporters, but many of us have kids who are like my oldest son, aka “the vault.” With him, what happens at school (or camp or a friend’s house) stays there, unless and until we can get him talking about his day. So here are some tips from parents to get your kids to talk about what happened in their days, all of which we have applied with success to “the vault” and his brothers.

First, find the right time for the right conversations

If you make a practice of having family dinners, that’s a great place to talk. Car rides, walks, and playtime can also work. Find settings that make your kids happy, and establish the habit. And know your kids, and what makes them comfortable. Betsy Schwartz, mother of an 11-year-old girl, says, “I am pretty involved in my kid’s education, but I’ve never gotten a direct answer to ‘How was school today?’ I do get a lot of information at random times, usually in the car when I’m trying to get across a bad intersection, or when I’m trying to figure out what we have that’s edible, or other times when my mind is half elsewhere. Some kids find it easier to talk when the high beams are off.”

Marjorie Ingall, mother of two girls, ages 3 and 6, agrees. “I always liked that expression: ‘Shoulder-to-shoulder, rather than face-to-face.’ Sometimes the best and most effective conversations happen when you’re commuting, going for a walk, doing something else, and not having a Very Important Sit-Down Discussion.”

“I swear all our shoulder-to-shoulder conversations happen when I’m trying to parallel park,” jokes Kristin Courtemanche, mom to a 2-year-old son and a 5-year-old daughter. Communication with our kids happens when it happens, and that’s one of the real challenges of parenting—being in the moment when you need to be.

Get the conversation going in unconventional ways

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By Jill Davidson

How we choose to be involved in our children’s lives constantly changes, and as our kids start elementary school, staying connected to what happens day-to-day can be tricky. Many schools have family organizations, usually called Parent-Teacher Organizations (PTOs) or Parent-Teacher Associations (PTAs), and they are a great first stop for parents wanting to stay involved in their kids’ academic lives. When your child starts school, ask if there’s a PTO or PTA, and get connected. Many schools have strong and active family associations; if your school does not, visit the national PTO and PTA websites, and ask the school principal and other families about getting one started at your school.

You will find, however, that involvement in a PTO or PTA is all about involvement! For many of us, with too many commitments and too few hours in the day, spending time doing volunteer work at our kids’ schools can be a tough proposition. Of course, the benefits of doing so are powerful – research overwhelming correlates lasting school success with family engagement, and it’s a great way to get a glimpse into your kids’ school lives. But on a practical basis, how is it possible?

Here are a few ways to participate in your children’s school lives that are relatively low on time commitment and high on value and meaning. I’d love to hear readers share their own ideas in the comments below.

• Read those notices that come home from school. Many schools rely on notices sent home to convey what’s happening; your children’s backpacks and homework folders can be the best source of information. Get in the habit of reviewing what your kids bring home each day. You’ll find out about school events, field trips, assemblies, parent workshops, and much more. Same goes for school newsletters, phone calls home, and email notices. A tip for managing the paper avalanche: give your kids an in-box somewhere in the house, preferably near where they dump their backpacks when they first come in, or where they do their homework. Then you’ll know what they bring home at the end of the day, and you can review it when you have a few minutes.

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By Geoff Griffin

Play is in the headlines these days, with NPR and the New York Times trumpeting its importance in developing basic cognitive and social skills.

At the Gordon School, where a play-based early childhood curriculum has weathered almost a century of educational trend cycles, these stories have been followed with interest.

When choosing a preschool, how do you judge the role of play in the school day? Ask any educator if they value play, and they will say yes.

This week, I asked the teachers in Gordon’s Early Childhood program for ideas on what to look for as you judge how much play is happening in a preschool classroom.

Listen
Play can be noisy. If the class is hushed, ask, “Is it always this quiet?”

Open-ended materials
Are students given materials that can be used in a variety of ways? There is only one way to use a puzzle piece, but many ways to use a block. Stencils are limited, but graph paper invites all sorts of uses.

How many things are going on?
If every student is doing the same activity, it is probably teacher-initiated. Look for a classroom setup that allows for several small-group activities to happen simultaneously.

Are there opportunities to work together?
Are the workplaces - the easels, the clay table, the computers - set up so that children can interact with one another while they work?

Are student interests integrated into the class?
Ask if there is space for children to initiate extended projects. Look for a student-driven “Kite Store” or “Animal Dentist” alongside the perennial “Book Nook” and “Dress Up” dramatic play areas.

Do they go outside?
How often? For how long? Look at the cubbies; snow pants, extra pair of shoes, and spare shirts are a plus.

Are they invested?
If you ask a child what they are doing, can he or she explain it? Are free play and small group times long enough for children to “lose themselves” in their work?

Listen to the children
Are they listening to one another, and building on one another’s ideas? Are they talking to one another directly, or using the teacher as a go-between?

Geoff Griffin is a parent at Gordon and has been Gordon’s Manager of Publications and Public Relations since 2002.

Additional articles about play provided by the Gordon School:

NPR: Creative Play Makes for Kids in Control

NPR: Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills

New York Times: Taking Play Seriously

Howard Chudacoff’s book (Brown University): Children at Play: An American History

A Gordon School News article, circa 2003

By Jill Davidson

It’s Elementary Open Schools Week in Providence! Many parents are taking time to visit schools this week, either for the first time or for a repeat visit to confirm their choices for Providence Public Schools’ registration process, which is happening now.

Whether you’re still in the process of figuring out your school choices for an incoming kindergartener, have younger kids and are starting to plan for the future, or have older kids for whom you’re looking for a new school, there is no substitute for spending a significant amount of time at prospective schools. There are lots of other ways to gather information about schools, some of which I’ll be writing about in future Kidoinfo posts. But today, we’re going to focus on using your time effectively when you visit schools.

The tips here come from parents who have recently been through the process of choosing schools for their kids (and I’m one of them, with a student in second grade at Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Elementary and another child who will enter King in the fall as a kindergartener). While these ideas apply most meaningfully to the process of visiting public and charter schools, it’s likely that a lot of the ideas here will work well for visits to independent and parochial schools.

First of all, try to put your own experience of elementary school aside. One of the trickiest things about being a parent is the temptation to over-rely on your own experience as a child to guide you to do what’s best for your own kids. That experience is significant, of course, but even more useful is knowing your kids well and what’s best for them now, in this place and time, and looking clearly and without nostalgia at the options available to you.

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If you have kids, then learning about schools—deciding which one is right for your children and your family, and getting them registered and ready—can be an involved process (and may even make you long for the diaper days). Our new contributor, Jill Davidson, will share her knowledge about schools (both local and national) along with her experience as a mom of three sons. Elias is a second grader at Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Elementary School in Providence. His brother Leo will join him as a kindergartener at MLK in the fall, and their younger brother Henry will join them at school in a few years.

I recently had the parental version of the exam anxiety dream: I dreamed that I’d forgotten to enroll my son for kindergarten! I woke up, checked the Providence Public Schools kindergarten registration calendar, and realized with relief that I hadn’t. So you can avoid having similar nightmares, here’s some essential information about getting your elementary school age children enrolled in the Providence Public Schools.

Enrollment for Providence Public School kindergarten for the 2008-09 school year begins on Wednesday, February 27, and runs through Saturday, April 12. Grade 1 registration, for students who are new to the Providence Public School district, begins on Monday, March 3, and runs through Friday, March 28.

Are you ready? Yes? Probably? Not sure? Read on for the basics of what you need to know to get your children registered, and plan to spend time reviewing the registration information on the Providence Public Schools’ website.

First of all, to be eligible for kindergarten, your child must have been born on or before September 1, 2003, and your child must reside in Providence.
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If you are looking for a preschool for your child, I believe you should look at this quest in the context of what your other childcare needs are and what your current situation is. It is easy to say that once your kid reaches the age of 4, he or she should start preschool, but what does that mean? Preschools come in all shapes and sizes, and preschool-like curriculums can be found within daycare and home-care settings. Although it is important to do your research, I believe as a parent myself, where you send your child (or choose not to send) comes down to what feels right to you and what environment you believe will be the best for nurturing and stimulating your child—giving him or her the capacity to grow and foster a love of learning.

My boys did not learn to read and write in preschool (to the shock of some parents), but their combined experiences at a fabulous home daycare led by an energetic dynamo and a cooperative preschool based on learning through play was the right fit for my boys, my work schedule, and our family budget. They were exposed to a variety of kids in a stimulating, friendly space, and each day was full of wonderful discoveries. They entered kindergarten this past fall with curious spirits (and a nervousness for a new place), and each boy is now reading, writing, and well-adjusted to their new school.

I hope you find the following guidelines helpful in finding the right place for you and your child. (Many of these tips apply equally well when searching for childcare.)
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In Exchange City, students take on the roles and responsibilities of business owners, entrepreneurs, employees, civil servants, public officials, and consumers in a wide variety of stores, businesses, and government offices.

This valuable hands-on learning experience for middle and high schools is designed to integrate into the regular school program. Students from participating schools begin with a standards-based curriculum taught by teachers in their classroom over a two-week or six-week period, learning about entrepreneurship, economics, and financial literacy. The in-class program is followed by a field trip visit to a model city that the middle and high school students run themselves. Exchange City lets students apply and reinforce the lessons learned in the classroom in this real-life “city” setting. Since our children are our future, this program is a great way to prepare them.

Created by the Learning Exchange of Kansas City, Exchange City is one of the largest hands-on education programs in the world and more than 1,000,000 students have already participated. There are twenty-four Exchange City sites throughout the United States and more on the way. Rhode Island opened its own “city” on May 3, 2007, on the Harborside campus of Johnson & Wales University. This Providence facility serves students in Rhode Island, Southern Massachusetts, and Connecticut. By the time Rhode Island’s Exchange City celebrates its one-year anniversary, it will have hosted almost 12,000 students. What a way to make a difference.

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Looking for a gift idea this holiday that fits all sizes and every budget? DonorsChoose.org lets you give a gift that’s two gifts in one: a gift to a loved one AND a gift to a classroom in need.

With a DonorChoose.org gift certificate, you make the charitable donation; your recipient chooses a classroom project to bring to life in a needy school community. Then, your recipient will hear back from the classroom he or she helped. DonorsChoose is now available in Rhode Island – search their website to find local schools to help.

Order by December 14th and DonorsChoose will send a special printed gift certificate in time for Christmas. If you choose email instead of paper, your gift certificates can be sent at the last minute.

By Jill Davidson

Looking at where to send your kids to school in 2008-9 and beyond? Parents and family members with children at a variety of schools (Martin Luther King, Vartan Gregorian, Paul Cuffee, ICS, Times2, CVS Highlander, Henry Barnard, Community Prep, and more) will be at the Rochambeau Branch of the Providence Public Library on Monday, November 26 from 7 to 9pm to share their experiences. Though the focus will be on elementary schools, parents with experience at Nathanael Greene and other middle schools will be on hand.

The purpose of this meeting is for parents to share with other parents about their experiences. It’s meant to supplement (not replace) the school visits many parents are in the process of making. This meeting is a chance to compare experiences, ask questions, and get information about school application and registration processes. Please know that this meeting aims to share information about a wide variety of schools with particular emphasis on public and charter choices. This meeting is also not geared toward pre-school choices – the focus will be on Kindergarten onward. Please know that if you’re interested in this topic but your children won’t be ready for Kindergarten in 2008, you’re still welcome to attend.

As well, parents who are “veterans” of the system will be there to provide their perspective on K-12 education in the Providence Public Schools and/or other schools.
Though this is all about our kids, no childcare will be provided, so bring your kids at your own discretion.

In order to make sure that there is enough space and the agenda is suited to the number and interest of the participants, please RSVP by email or phone if you plan to attend.

contact info:
Jill Davidson
email: jill.davidson@gmail.com
phone: 401-453-1916
• Email whether you plan to attend and what your interest is in this subject. If you’d like to participate but can’t make that date, please specify whether daytime or evening meetings are better.
• If you are currently parents of children at the schools listed above – or at any other school serving Providence students – and would like to represent the school please email Jill.

More about Jill Davidson:

I am a parent of a second grader at Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Elementary School in Providence (and two other younger children). Professionally, I am the Publications Director at the Coalition of Essential Schools (www.essentialschools.org) and a long-time facilitator of education-related workshops and discussions. In 2006, I combined my interest in education with my experience as a parent who had recently gone through the process of choosing a school for my child and convened discussion opportunities for parents to share experiences and learn from parents of children already in a variety of schools. People got a lot out of talking with each other in a structured, family-focused format, so we’re doing it again in preparation for the 2008-9 school year.

Based on popular demand, we’re starting a Message Board to enable everyone in the Kidoinfo community to share ideas. Even though we love receiving questions directly from readers, we believe you are a savvy bunch, full of great ideas and valuable resources, and sometimes we just don’t have all the answers. (We haven’t tried everything, been everywhere, or gone to every school, etc.) The new classified section is a great place to post or find job opportunities or items for sale.

We tried to make the message board simple to use and have provided FAQs, in case you’re not familiar with message boards. If you only want to read messages, there’s no need to register - just click around and read. If you want to add a topic or reply to a message, then you must register.

We set up a number of forum categories to keep things organized, and depending on user input, we’ll add more categories and divide some into subcategories, as needed. We asked people for their advice and invited a group of people to test the message board before making it public, so it should work, but contact us if you encounter problems or if you have suggestions.

Of course, we’ll continue to maintain the rest of Kidoinfo with daily posts, events listings and more, but we’re excited about enriching the site with the collective wisdom of our readers and how much we all stand to benefit.