by Katy Killilea and Jaci Arnone
In each of our families, fun-loving grandparents organized a trip to Disney World. Lacking intuitive understanding of why parents consider this kind of trip “fun,” we experienced some apprehension and gathered information from every seasoned Disney veteran we knew. We’d both enjoyed mid-1970s trips to Disney World as little girls, and many of our parent-friends had gone and lived to tell about it. In fact, they’d all had a blast…but could we? Armed with lists of tips, deep knowledge of fast passes, hopper tickets, and character breakfasts, our families traveled to Orlando for multi-generational adventure. Here are our stories.
Weeks before departing, my kids and I watched a trip-planning DVD (free from Disney) to learn about the attractions and pick our favorites. Friends shared dog-eared guidebooks and annotated maps. My parents arranged the trip to be as easy as possible, booking our rooms on a hotel floor that featured a rotating array of snacks coordinated with a complicated timetable of alcohols. All we had to do was show up with shorts and flip-flops.
Sure enough, Disney World was as everyone said it would be: busy, clean, friendly. It was the kids who didn’t function as planned. Some surprising parts of our trip:
- Pretty much everything except for theÂ Hall of the Presidents was deemed “too scary” by my 6- and 8-year-old.
- Not only were rides too scary, but also anyone in a mascot suit had to be avoided (Mickey, Donald, Aladdin, who was okay at first–no mask–until we got close enough to notice his dramatically airbrushed makeup). When approached by Minnie, my younger son glowered and my older son tried to nonchalantly move away, as if Minnie were a discarded sheet of newspaper that had blown against him.
- Speaking of airbrushed makeup, a highlight of the trip took place on a Disney Monorail when a woman with Dolly Parton hair/jewelry/makeup boarded our car. This, not the Jungle Cruise, is the part of the trip I have heard the boys refer back to most often. (“Remember the woman with a lot of makeup?”/”Yes, wasn’t that exciting?”)
- We had a view of the Magic Kingdom and its famous fireworks from our room. These were deemed “too bright!” and “too long!” which led to the second great highlight of the trip, closing the curtains to watch Biggest Loser on HDTV.
- The hotel pool had a joy-making water slide and recreation director. Why were the mascots scary but not the bronzed, dancing recreation man?Â He taught the Electric Slide and Macarena, led hula hoop contests, and offered to apply tattoos in a child’s choice of designs: flower, dinosaur, or realistic infected bullet wound.
- The third highlight of the trip was not riding the Star Wars flight simulator but instead spotting a revised edition of our favorite Ryder Windham Star Wars book in Disney’sÂ Star Tours gift shop.
Places the boys did respond as Disney intended: the swimming pool, the Buzz Lightyear ride, and the race track, which is like the Seekonk Grand Prix but a tad less grand. Other parts of the trip I’d repeat: staying on the 12th floor of the Contemporary Resort, and having a benefactor foot the bill. I am grateful to have gone to Disney World with my parents and children. After all, we came home with fond memories of the makeup lady. As a bonus, I no longer have to wonder how guilty to feel for depriving my children of a trip to Disney World.
The bottom line: Unless you love Disney or you get a free trip, go to Storyland and check theme parks off your list.
When my friend Katy started posting photos live from Disney, I couldn’t resist leaving a snarky comment about the place my husband and I now refer to as the “Tragic Kingdom.” I had wonderful childhood memories of Disney, but as a parent? Different story.
Let me take you back. It’s 1976, and there I stand in my personalized Minnie Ears, watching Snow White pass by in Bicentennial Parade. I didn’t care that my face and hands were drenched in the sticky remains of my melted Micky Bar. I had already forgotten that we had waited for over an hour in the 100-degree heat of August to secure our place in the front row. I was oblivious to the fact that my mother’s new camera had been stolen while she was regaining her senses after the Cups & Saucers or that my parents had been up most of the night applying Solarcaine to my brother’s sunburn. I was living the Disney dream.
As the parent of four small children, Disney magic was the last thing on my mind. It was hard enough to manage a Target run let alone a Disney adventure. In preparation, I mapped out daily itineraries with snack breaks and diaper changes, but I still had my doubts. As it turns out, my gut was right. All the pearls of Disney wisdom I’d gleaned from friends didn’t change the fact that Disney as a parent is difficult to manage and at times, downright stressful.
If you’re in one of those families of repeat Disney-goers, I tip my mouse ears to you. You are Disney Warriors, and I on the other hand am a Disney Amateur with no intention of upgrading my status. Here are some tips this Disney Amateur wants to share:
-The kids run the show.Â We were at the mercy of our twins’ nap schedules and if we pushed them too hard, we got a double-stroller load of twin tantruming.
-As a family of six (plus two grandparents and a brother-in-law), we found it most convenient to rent a private home adjacent to the park. Although the neighborhood looked a bit like Stepford, we had a spacious six-bedroom home with six bathrooms, gourmet kitchen, and a gorgeous screened-in pool. It felt deluxe, and it was more affordable than the four hotel rooms we would require to accommodate our entourage. The younger kids seemed to have more fun playing in the house pool than they did doing anything in the theme park, and my older son still talks about the ping pong table in the garage. The adults enjoyed having some sprawl in which to relax after taking on Disney each day and having a full kitchen was a life saver considering the cost of dining at Disney.
-Since our three younger kids were petrified of every single ride (It’s a Small World included), the Fantasy Land Playground was our salvation. This play area has an adorable Hundred Acre Woods theme and a rubberized ground surface, which was ideal for my two almost-walkers. My in-laws were perfectly content covering playground duty with our younger kids, so my husband and I could sneak in some rides with our older son. We didn’t exactly go to Disney to hang out on a playground, but it was the best place to be with toddlers.
-Vacationing with the in-laws might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but in our case it was a lifesaver. They helped out when the kids got fussy, brought the twins home for nap time so we could stay longer at the park with the older kids, and even babysat so we could sneak out for a date. If you have the opportunity to bring extra hands without risking family drama, I vote yes.
-The fact that there was a souvenir shop on every corner was a nightmare considering our 3-year-old was in the thick of the “gotta have it” stage. Following a tip from a Disney veteran, we let our 3- and 7-year-old pick out snazzy autograph books and a Micky Mouse pen on the first day. They spent the rest of the trip more focused on collecting autographs from the roaming Disney characters than collecting trinkets.
-On the final night, my in-laws arranged for all of us to have dinner at the Hoop-De-Doo Musical Review in Disney’s Fort Wilderness Resort. The review is about as campy as you can get with ‘ole Western dancing and kid-friendly vaudeville comedy. Despite the fact that my husband and I are vegetarian and the meal consists of fried chicken and ribs, this was the highlight of the trip for all of our kids. They clapped along to the music and squealed in glee at the dancers. And the best part of all: pony rides outside of the restaurant. My kids might be scared of riding a hydraulic Dumbo, but they have no fear of ponies.
Although my younger kids probably won’t remember anything about the trip, I hope my oldest son has some magical Disney memories similar to mine from 1976. Like me, he won’t remember or care about the crowds, the heat, the screaming younger siblings, the stressed-out parents, or the tired but unwavering grandparents. And perhaps as payback, someday I will treat my kids and their young families to a Disney adventure of their own.